Ann's Insights

O.k. Mom wanted me to write these down, and I suppose I should, because I would like to share them with someone besides myself, because myself is just boring sometimes. Anyway, I had a couple of insightful moments this last week. One of them concerned my diet. As many people know I have been trying to lose weight the last little while. Part of the reason that I decided to go on a diet was that if I couldn't control what goes in my mouth, how could I control anything else in my life??? From that thought, I went on to think that food can be a major addiction. It is everywhere! You can't get away from it! In someways, it is worse than an addiction, because you have to have it to survive! So, how can you have just enough to survive and not go overboard. Because food tastes good!! I have also come to the conclusion that if you go out to eat (at restaurants) The food triples in the point system (weight watchers). So, the easier the food is to get, the more damage it does to our bodies. Think about that for a minute.

O.K., so if we put work into our food and slice and dice and care about what to cook, we can control what goes in and make it beneficial to our bodies. Go figure! We have to work for something, and that makes it better for us. Why can't we be lazy! Which brings me to life in general. Why do we let things rule our lives for us??

Food for example, calls to me from across the room and says things, like "I smell good", or "you know you want another cookie", or worse driving down the street and you can smell the french fries, or the chicken, or whatever. They want you to come and get them so that you can endulge and have that few minutes of pure pleasure. Then starts the guilt! What did I just do? I can't undo what I have just done without causing more damage. There has got to be a way that I can cover this up, or those two donuts won't stick this time, so it is o.k.

Anyway, I thought that in order for me to get myself in order, I have to tackle the food monster. So, anytime I have anything, I have this picture in my head of the fatter me and that I don't want to do that again. I also think of how hard it was to overcome the eating too much thing. It took almost a year to even loose a pound when I was exercising 5 days a week for about 40 minutes each time. Another thing is that I thought I was eating less, but in reality, I wasn't really being honest with myself. I would eat a little bit more hear or there and figure that for some odd reason it wasn't going to stick, because after all, I was exercising and that was supposed to be the magic cure right?!?

One more thing. Now that I have lost most of the weight that I wanted to and am pretty much in control of what I eat, you would think that the eating thing would be easier for me to do right??? Wrong! Every day I find myself thinking that I have been good for a long time so I can have that extra cookie, french fry, extra helping, or what ever. "It won't stick right?"

I have come to the conclusion that "life is just a battlefield" (Who has ever heard that before?) Everyday we have to get up and fight our giants, no matter what they are, (food, Children, Pornography, Alcohol, etc.) They can be anything no matter how little or big they are. Sometimes, I think the so called "little" giants are harder for some people to deal with than the "Big" giants. But, we can conquer them all if we don't give up!! We have to continually keep trying. We can't allow ourselves to give up if we have one to many donuts and can't figure out how to get it off of us. It can happen.

One more short insight is that I was outside cutting down flowers, and pulling out my garden. When the thought popped into my head that this was like life. Heavenly Father is the master gardener and He has to cut us down sometimes, so that we will grow in a different direction. Also, that for example in the fall, we cut off the tops of many flowers and branches from trees. Why do we do that?? I have heard that the reason that this is done, is that the roots can become stronger so that in the spring it will produce more beautiful flowers. Sometimes, we get discouraged with what is happening in our lives and the fact that nothing right is happening. No matter what we do, we feel as if we are being cut down. Perhaps, we are just being reshaped, or planted in another area of the "yard" that we will thrive more. Or, that we just need to strengthen our roots to hold up the next years worth of blossoms.

For what it is worth, I was inlightened by these thoughts, and it helped me get through the day, so I thought I would share with whom ever wanted to read.

Love Ya,
Ann